Vinyl - Infinite Third - Gently (15th Anniversary)

TL;DR: 2009 was one of the hardest, most transformational years of my life thanks to an apartment fire and my dad's death. Creating what would become my debut album in the aftermath of those events was extremely therapeutic. This first-time-ever vinyl pressing is to commemorate the 15th anniversary of its release.

On February 22nd, 2009, I narrowly escaped an apartment fire that claimed the entire building and all of my possessions with it. This was obviously traumatic but it also forced me to rediscover my musical practice. As I learned to make more with less, my music naturally started to become more... gentle.

Throughout high school and college, I was obsessed with my own little private practice of recording and layering multiple instruments and sequencing the songs into makeshift "albums." This was before widely-releasing music was so accessible to the average person so I pretty much just listened to them myself (on burned CD's) and played them for my mom.

All the music up until the fire was pretty "heavy" but also quite melodic. Thankfully, I still have some of it and one of the albums from college is even on Bandcamp under a secret artist name!

As I began to process the chaos of abruptly losing everything I owned, and contemplating how much worse it could've easily gone, I experienced a newfound deep connection between my emotions and my art. I was coming up with new sounds and new ideas and starting to piece together some sort of project that I didn't yet fully understand.

I was so lucky to have some financial help from my dad as I got back on my feet. By May, I was finally moving into a new apartment and starting to get settled in.

Then, on June 28th, 2009, my dad passed away.

All that music I was making, along with the practice I had been developing, just stopped abruptly. I was in full grief mode. I didn't feel depressed but I did feel.. frozen.

If you're reading this, you're probably aware of who my dad was. The weird thing is that the public-facing aspect of the whole somehow felt harder than his actual death. Loss itself, especially when a parent dies, is an unfortunate but natural part of life. There's something unnatural about having to navigate TMZ and public opinion while grieving that loss.

Anyway, in August of 2009, I received a random invite to a week-long high-end wellness retreat in the mountains of Los Angeles thanks to a good deed my dad did for the owner in the months before he died. I would've NEVER been able to attend something like this under any other circumstances but I jumped at the opportunity. I needed.. something.

I found myself experiencing a week of 10+mile hikes, daily massages, guided workouts and yoga all afternoon, and world-class raw vegan food for every meal. It was unbelievable and magical and still I felt pretty numb.

I'll never forget the exact moment the music returned. I was on the silent portion of one of those morning hikes through the mountains and suddenly all those songs ideas, sketches, and melodic energy came flooding back like a fountain. It was like my emotions reactivated and I could feel again.

I was so thankful for the once-in-a-lifetime experience and I returned home with an outrageous sense of inspiration and purpose.

Over the next few months, I chipped away at these songs, tirelessly carving something into existence. It was somehow both effortless and immensely challenging.

By November, it was done.

I didn't have any experience with releasing music but I figured it out and got this album out into the world, via iTunes digital release and CD only!

To this day, I haven't made anything else quite like it and I still have people tell me this is their favorite thing I've made. It just has a hopefulness too it, ironically, that connects with people who have experienced or are actively experiencing loss.

Some of the early demos were also used in a Discovery Channel tribute documentary about my dad so this sound ended up being the literal soundtrack to mourning my dad's death for a lot of people.

If you've made it this far, I applaud your attention span and thank you for your time.

This will likely be the only Gently vinyl pressing ever and the records will be made to order — so the only way to get a copy is to reserve one right now.

Above all else, thank you just for listening.

• Billy